There is a girl at school that I have known for a couple of years and over this year I have got to know her better. We are friends but certainly not close friends. I sit next to her in one of my classes and I was invited to her 18th birthday. Over the last few weeks I have seen her in a different light and have realised how wonderful she really is.

For the last few days I have literally not been able to stop thinking about her and at times I actually feel ill wondering about her. I know that she is not in a relationship at the moment and has not been for some time, I would really like to tell her how I feel but I am not the most outgoing person and I have no idea if she is interested in me. And to make things more complicated we only have a few more weeks of school left and next year is university! Have you got any suggestions for me?

Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks

Hi everyone...I'm new, and I'm hoping that you guys can help me answer some questions!

I have been in a serious, long term relationship for the past 5 years. We have had our problems and have broken up once before (and I admit, it was my fault the first time because I was too controlling around him), but shortly after reconnected and have ever since been working on repairing our relationship.

While we have had some problems, for the most part, things have been really good this time around. He would tell me how happy he is that I'm trying so hard for him, and how he wants more than anything for "us" to work. However, I have noticed that for awhile, once in awhile he would get very negative and cold towards me. He would say hurtful things to me and threaten to break up with me, even if we had a small problem that wasn't even serious.

Almost four weeks ago, we were having a great time, and he was telling me how happy he was, how much he loves me, and how he thinks things are going to work this time. Just three days later, his mood changed entirely, with him once again yelling at me and telling me that he never loved me and lately just "doesn't feel anything" anymore. He said he is the type of person that needs to be alone. When I asked him to explain, he couldn't. Regardless, he left with a huge headache, and broke up with me a few days later over the phone, giving me no explanation and then literally hanging up on me.

I tried contacting him a week later, but he answered angrily and bitterly, saying that I'm wasting his time and holding to the fact that he doesn't care. He treated me like I was his enemy, not his GF of 5 years who has always been there for him. He is acting like all his problems/anxieties/stress is derived from our relationship, when in reality, he is dealing with a lot of stress of from new job position, family trouble (schizophrenic sister has become increasingly violent), and he constantly thinks that he is judged for being socially uncomfortable.

I hate to think that our relationship is going to end like this, but it's been almost a month now and he remains just as angry. I want to be there for him, but I can't contact him because he thinks that I'm suffocating/manipulating him. My friends/family suggest that I wait for about 6 months before any contact...and tell me that in that time, he may have time to think things over and realize that he does care.

Is this a good idea? Knowing him, I don't think he'll ever come around by himself...so what can I do? Is leaving him alone for awhile or until he comes around the best thing for him?

Btw, I brought up possible depression and read stories to him, and while he says it sounds "a little" like him, he says that he doesn't have a problem and refuses to go for any help. He says I'm the problem and nothing else. I'm the only one who has seen this side of him...he acts fine around everyone else. Is it possible that I truly am the cause of his depression and unhappiness, as he says?

Please help! I'd really appreciate it!

First, I'd like to thank all who contribute to this footprints board, especially Betsy as you put a lot of work into helping and comforting others. Very often we use only forums like this to get through our own crisis. This site has helped me a lot since being (initially) diagnosed yesterday.

I'm a 32 year old guy and I recently ended a long term relationship. Soon afterwards, I met a woman in a different city and we had an instant attraction to one another. We used condoms in our sex, but several days later, I noticed 2 blisters near the base of my penis, where it wasn't covered by the condom. I hoped they were ingrown hairs, but it didn't look like they were healing and looked a lot like pictures on herpes websites, and now they were seeping.


I got to a doctor as soon as I could and its her opinion (at least before the tests come back) that its herpes. That same morning, before going to the doctor's office, in fact, several more smaller blisters appeared around the existing ones.

She put me on immediate 800mg dosages of Acyclovir to try to limit the extent of the first OB. It seems to be helping a little. At least the little blisters haven't popped, some have receded, and the existing ones are covering up. I expect the test results back in the next couple of days, but again, its a fairly serious outbreak and I want to be realistic about this.

Like everyone else, I feel many of the same intial emotions of shame, guilt, and ask the "what if's" over and over. However, I don't feel angry towards the woman, we're still friends, and I've notified her about what I've found so she can get checked.

My question is about future relationships. I know I have a lot of personal adjustment to do first before considering a relationship and I've read the Gun Shy thread, but I still can't help but wonder about how its possible that women won't be turned off by me when I share with them my condition?

Can anyone, particularly men, on this site share their personal experiences as they tried to enter new relationships?

(I hope that doesn't sound biased or bigoted - we're all on the same team here. It just seems like, because guys often have to pursue the women that there is a lot of competition out there and I can't imagine a woman taking the chance. I know this reveals a lot of my insecurities, but that's part of the process I'm sure.)

PS - Thanks for letting me air this. It is therapeutic in and of itself just to be able to talk about it...

You are still very young and I would suggest that you just take time out for yourself as need some time to get over the breakup and to find yourself as been with him 10yrs why would you want rush into relationship.

Hang out with pals, make new pals, do the stuff you used to enjoy doing but never did for ages, get comfortable been in your own company before you get into a rebound relationship. If you dating this guy, whom u love, stick to him, even if he bullies you

Yes you can find love but to be honest you may never experience that same kind of closeness as the love you had with him but you will fall in love and meet a special guy one day but it will be different and it may take a few mistakes along the way but that is part of life. Don't think about it too much now and just have some time out for yourself and in time you will meet someone when you are least expecting it. Wish you well and you will know when you meet that special person as it will just happen.

After hearing from some guys here losing their jobs I thought I might share some positive news happening in my life.

I had a good/bad start into 2009 - depending on your point of view.
My relationship with Tanja was crumbling since August '08. The only things that probably held us together were the fact that we had a vacation booked (non-refundable) that we both wanted to enjoy. And we were also living together.
After she found a new place to stay in early December (she could move in in January) we broke up while being on said vacation in Amsterdam.
It wasn't a horrbile breakup. We both were unhappy with the situation and I guess it was just time to let go. TBH I am happy about the breakup. We didn't match and there was no love or passion in the relationship.
So we broke up on Dec 27th, and she moved out on January 1st.

After the breakup I wanted to get rid of my baggage.
Incidentally a girl I've met half a year ago also broke up from her boyfriend. He just never answered her phone calls or emails. Quite a sucky way to end a 1,5+ year relationship. So we both wanted some distraction.
We met, and the chemistry was pretty fine. The day after she left I realized that I have a crush on her, but was scared to admit to her because I wasn't sure how she was feeling. Considering she just went through a breakup too I wasn't too positive about reaction.
BUT!
After some chatting we met again and the chemistry is just right. We get along very well and our personalities match.
I find it funny that I am now dating her. We initially met for a physical thing and now we have a relationship.
That's actually very cool because I probably wouldn't have thought about dating her in the first place for a number of reasons:
1) She lives 130 miles away from me. I didn't want another long-distance relationship.
2) She's 27 and got her MA. I am 21 and wouldn't have thought that she's within my range. She usually dates guys 30+.

So by not thinking about it, I gave her a chance.
And it works very very well so far.
I could go on and on about how cute she is.

So: I have a new relationship. I'm happy!

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Everything I say espressis onley my own op1ni0n, and shall not reprisent the openion of othar Austrians.
Pizza and ginormous jugs is what I need!

Whoever finds typos or spelling mistakes in my posts may keep them.

Do parents generally know what kind of sexual behavior their kids are involved in?

Most of the time it turns out that parents already suspect if their kids are sexually active. Parents notice things. They notice stains on underwear, for example. But a lot of parents don't know how to raise the subject. The best time to talk about when it's right to have sex, I think, is when a child is in the early teen years. Pre-teens think sex is yucky. Some kids start having sex in their mid-teen years. If parents haven't given their children guidance by then, it may be too late to impact behavior.

Personally, I think parents need to send two clear messages to their kids. First, they need to tell them when, in their opinion, it's appropriate for a young person to have sex. Second, if their teenager does decide to have sex, I think it's vital that parents express how important it is to protect themselves, and their partners, from pregnancy, sexually transmitted infections, and emotional hurt.

But some parents are just very uncomfortable talking with their kids about sexuality. I had a mother bring her daughter in for a physical exam. As I was going into the room to see her daughter she handed me a note that said, "Please get Mary on the pill."